The Winning Essay

Su, Si, Bo and Po -- the surviving members of a Cambodian family -- arrived at our home in 1980 as Unaccompanied Minors in foster care.

Between 1974 and 1976, their mother, father, and two siblings had died either at the hands of the Khmer Rouge or from starvation. In the 'reeducation' camps, Su, then fourteen, had been allowed to keep two-year-old Po with her. Si, twelve, had been sent to a work camp. Bo, 10, and the 'man' of the family, went to a men's camp.

Bo sneaked among the three sites, stealing medicines to treat his youngest sister's burned arm and scavenging food. He expected to beaten if caught, and was once dragged back to his camp behind a horse.

In 1978, he found his way to the river he would have to cross to reach safety in Thailand, but he returned to the camps for his sisters. A seventy- mile midnight trek through swamps and forests began, with no stops for sleep because of marauding soldiers and bandits. Carrying three year-old Po on their backs, and often giving her their meager food and water supplies, they finally crossed over to freedom. In the Thai camp, Su collapsed from malnutrition and was comatose for many days.

After reaching our North Portland home, Su was allowed to hand over her parenting responsibilities, and she went on to graduate from high school, marry, and give birth to two children. All the while, she suffered debilitating nightmares.

Her children slept in her bed, where she could reach out and touch them and be sure they were safe. They slept, she did not. My husband suggested counseling, but calling her sufferings into her conscious mind made the dreams even worse.

In 2001, my husband encouraged her to revisit Cambodia in his company, and after much discussion, she agreed. The two of the and Po, now in her late twenties, traveled first to historical and religious sites. When Su was ready, they went to the village she remembered, and to the street she remembered.

As she stood weeping before her family home which, though pockmarked by bullets, still stood as it had then, a woman came out of the house next door. This woman had been a neighbor in 1975, and she recognized Su because Su looked so much like her mother -- a mother Su could no longer remember. They fell into each others' arms.

For two days, Su sat with the woman and her grown children, speaking of the horrors and crying with others who understood. When they ran out of tears, Su arranged for the Buddhist monks to prepare a feast in honor of her ancestors, an obligation of children for parents who have died: an obligation these four children had been unable to fulfill because of the war.

Our foster daughter came home free of the hold of nightmares, and finally free to live her new life to the fullest.

"Land of the Free"
Bonnie Bean Graham